I’d like to point out the Australian way of developing nicknames for people. There are always exceptions to the rule but the following keeps to a system evolved over many decades.

• If your surname is prefixed by Mc or Mac, for example McMurtrie or MacDonald, then your nickname shall be ‘macca’.
  
• It is always acceptable to add on an “o” or a “y” to someone’s name or a shortened version of their name. E.g Smith becomes Smithy and Dave becomes Davo. Most nicknames are of this nature.
  
• If the second letter of your first name is an “a” then the first two letters can be followed by “zza”. For example Karen becomes Kazza and Barry becomes Bazza.
  
• And finally, if you have red hair your nickname shall be ‘bluey’.
  

The great thing is these rules can be applied to everyone. However, some people do have nicknames because of memorable events that they have been involved in or particular physical attributes they possess. I have a friend who we call VB. Not because he drinks a lot of beer but because his extensive body hair reminds us of Velcro, hence “Velcro Boy”.

Everyone has experienced that moment in life where you realise you taped over something you shouldn’t have.

A friend of mine accidentally taped a TV special on Eminem over part of his wedding. Somehow he managed to convince his wife that it was her fault as she shouldn’t have left the tape in the VCR. Now when they relive those happy memories the cutting of the cake is interrupted by “two trailer park girls go round the outside, round the outside, round the outside”.

Second Hand Invitations

The Second Hand Invitations (SHI) is when someone who has received an invitation to a gathering/party/event then decides to invite others even though they are not the host. Thus the invitation is a SHI or, an invitation by proxy.

Personally I never attend anything on a second hand invitation. You are always left with that lingering doubt that the host probably thinks you’re an absolute tool for turning up uninvited. The SHI giver will always try to convince you that the host really wants you to come, but whether they really do or not is another matter. When you receive a SHI it can be quite a catch-22. If you do go you feel uninvited, and if you don’t you feel like you have turned down an invitation and must therefore come up with a plausible excuse in case the host asks you why you weren’t there.

I never give a SHI and I certainly don’t attend anything on a SHI and when I am the host I always think people who have turned up on a SHI are more than slightly peculiar. As for THI (third hand invitation) don’t even get me started!

The Sound of Music? What the....?
I think someone must have said to Guy, "I dare you to sing something from the Sound of Music!". Somehow he made it sound good.
It's still not the same without Paulini.