The following is an extract from Saddam Husseins first day in court.

Judge: Mr Saddam, we ask you to write down your identity, your name, occupation and address and then we will allow you to talk. Now it is time to write down your identity.

Saddam: I was not about to say much.

Judge: We want your identity, your name, then we will listen to what you have. We are writing down the identities at this time. We will hear you when we need to listen to you.

Saddam: First of all, who are you and what are you?

Judge: The Iraqi Criminal Court.

Saddam: All of you are judges?

Judge: We don't have time to get into details. You can write down what you like.

Saddam: I have been here in this military building since 2:30, and then from nine I have been wearing this suit. They have asked me to take it off and then put it on again many times.

Judge: Who are you? What is your identity? Why don't you take a seat and let the others say their names and we will get back to you.

Saddam: You know me. You are an Iraqi and you know who I am. And you know I don't get tired.

Judge: These are formalities and we need to hear it from you.

Saddam: They have prevented me from getting a pen and a paper because paper, it seems, is frightening these days. I don't hold any grudges against any of you. But upholding what is right and respecting the great Iraqi people who chose me, I won't answer to this court, with all due respect to the individuals involved in it, and I reserve my constitutional rights as the president of Iraq. You know me.

Judge: These are the procedures. A judge cannot rely on personal knowledge.


I found this hilarious! Is it wrong to start liking Saddam? I always knew Saddam was a feel my weight kinda guy but he took it to a new level. I look forward to Saddam arguing that a rock-off should be used to decide which judges should stay or go.

James Blunt is a Stalker

I have included the lyrics to this song by UK artist James Blunt. Have a read, well at least the bits in bold.

James Blunt - You're Beautiful Lyrics

My life is brilliant.
My love is pure.
I saw an angel.
Of that I'm sure.
She smiled at me on the subway.
She was with another man.
But I won't lose no sleep on that,
'Cause I've got a plan.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw you face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.

Yeah, she caught my eye,
As we walked on by.
She could see from my face that I was,
F**king high,
And I don't think that I'll see her again,
But we shared a moment that will last till the end.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw you face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.
You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
There must be an angel with a smile on her face,
When she thought up that I should be with you.
But it's time to face the truth,
I will never be with you.

Lets just break down the facts about this song.
1. James Blunt is on a train and sees a girl.
2. He thinks she is an Angel.
3. Girl is with another man, but James doesn't care because he "has a plan."
4. James is high, and thinks the girl catches his eye.
5. James concludes they have shared a moment.
6. James think a different angel desires for him to be with the girl.

I can only conclude that James Blunt is a homeless mental patient stalker. Why is this song even allowed to be played on radio. Does anyone else get the impression Jame's plan will involve following the girl home from the subway, opening her mail to find out personal details, taking photos with a telephoto lens and ringing her at 3am? This song could become the theme song for all stalker around the world. Someone should be locking James Blunt up and throwing away the key!
Have you ever been riding the bus or the train and you see some creepy guy with a weird look on his face just staring at you?? Chance are it was James Blunt! This is one of the many reasons I don't use public transport.

Today AFL chief Andrew Demetriou declared that one premiership for the Sydney Swans would not be enough to crack die hard rugby league and union supporters. He stated "The AFL would take great delight in seeing the Swans achieve a dynasty of success with 3,4 or more consecutive premierships in much the same way as the Brisbane Lions." Demetriou went on to explain plans to ensure the Swans were able to repeat their achievements in the coming years. The Sydney Swans along with Brisbane Lions already have the benefit of a larger salary cap to entice players to the Harbour City but under a new ruling the Swans will have an extra $100,000 to spend each year for the next 3 seasons. Demetriou explained that "we know players find it frustrating playing for a team where only a handful of supporters understand the rules, be we hope the extra cash will outweigh the annoyance they feel." The AFL will also print a basic set of rules to be handed out at Swans games to help those supporters new to the game. The rules cover such topics as "Why Umpires can't give every free kick to Sydney" and "Why the other team might win". The AFL also announced video segments to be shown at half time to demonstrate the finer points of AFL including tactics and strategies. The AFL was rather tight lipped about the content but did give a sneak peek at the first episode which covered why the team can't always kick it to Bazza or Goodesy.
In a related topic Swans supporters will also be encouraged to remove the price tags from their supporter apparel before the 2006 season. Demetriou expressed his desire for bandwagon supporters to not look like d*%@heads.

It's All In The Name

Need a vasectomy? Dr. Richard Chopp is your man!

Something has been missing from my life for too long. It nearly became a distant memory. Bloody hell it feels good to hate the poms again. For so long they haven't been worth hating. We have moonlighted hating the Indians and the West Indies but it isn't the same. Nothing is better than beating the English on an Ashes tour. Getting up in the middle of a winter night to see Australia giving those stinking poms a bashing has brought balance to my life. It feels so right. I was in London in 2001 to see Australia beat England at Lords. It was good, I was happy, but something was missing. It wasn't quite taking candy from a baby, but it was close. Now that the Poms have been winning a few games and developing some backbone they think they can win, and that just makes them so much more fun to hate!