I now have a new phobia.

The Korea Consumer Protection Board has conducted a survey which has found that shopping cart handles are number one on a list of bacteria-infested items! Typically, they contain an average of 1100 colony forming units (CFU) of bacteria per 10 sq cm.

And now brought to you by Captain Obvious: A board spokeswoman said that the best way to stop the spread of infectious diseases by hand contact was to wash your hands with soap.

Quoting statistics, the spokeswoman said that while more than 77 per cent of people were aware of the importance of washing hands, only 47.9 per cent actually bothered to wash them.

I have always attempted to avoid touching public bathroom doors with my hands by kicking them open or using an elbow but now I have a new list of public items not to touch!

Among the list I already have is public bathroom taps! It is ok if they have the 'leaver' style tap where you can use the back of your hand to turn it on and off but if it is the more traditional tap where you have to turn it on and off then forget about it, I'm not touching it! Consider this, when someone has used the toilet, they then have dirty hands. They then touch the tap with dirty hands, contaminating the tap. Then after the washing their hands they then touch the dirty tap again to turn it off and hence are still contaminated.

So when I am in a public bathroom and they only have that style of tap I dont wash! Thats right you heard me. Before you get upset with me, let me explain. I wash. I wash regularly! I wash carefuly. I especially wash my naughty bits carefuly! Therefore I am willing to bet that my naughty bits are extremely clean. Therefore after I take a leak, (assuming I have been able to not urinate all over my hands, which yes, I am able to avoid that) my hands are still extremely clean as they have only touched my old fella which is also extremely clean! Therefore, I do not choose to touch a tap which is infested to wash my already extremely clean hands.

I should point out, before you call the cops and notify the government, I only do this is manky disgusting public toilets (are public toilets of any other kind?). At home, at friends, at work, I still wash my hands. So relax.

The Dirty Half Dozen:
1. Shopping cart handles - 1100 CFU per 10 sq cm
2. Internet café computer mouse - 690
3. Bus hand straps - 380
4. Public toilet handles and door knobs - 340.
5. Lift buttons at 130
6. Train hand straps - 86

Eddie McGuire gets top job
Eddie McGuire will be announced as the new chief executive officer of the Nine Network on the 6pm news today.

This can only be good for Australia. The random ramble has been given a hot tip on Channel Nines new line up of shows.

5:30pm The Price is Right: Collingwood memorabilia
6:00pm National Nine News hosted by Mick Malthouse
6:30pm A Magpie Affair: Current news of the Mighty Collingwood FC
7:00pm The King of Queens Collingwood
7:30pm Getaway: Great games where Collingwood wins against the odds
8:30pm Black and White TV
10:30 Late Night News with Lou Richards
11:00 Up Late With Bucks

I can't wait!!

Check out the cartoons of Muhammad that are getting people all upset.

Should principles of freedom of speech mean that it is ok to print these? Or should journalists have been more sensitive to the offence they have caused? Make a comment...

Well, the Commonwealth Games are almost here. But on the bright side, they're almost over.

Josh Pyke - Middle of the Hill

This song by Josh Pyke is the best thing I've heard for ages, resonates with my own childhood somehow. Instantly one of my favourite songs ever. You can download it here.

Lyrics

When I was a kid I grew up in a house on a hill, not the top, not the bottom but the middle.
And I still remember where I cracked my head, in the vacant lot, there's a row of tiny houses there now.
And we used to light fires in the gutters,
and I could cool my head on the concrete steps.

But the girl down the street hit my sister on the head with a stick
and we hid behind my father as he knocked on her parents’ door, to tell them what she did,
but the parents were drunk so they really didn't give a shit.

And the girl down the street said her dog couldn't bark,
because a man with an axe cut its voice box out.
But my older sister told me that it probably wasn't true,
and I believed what she said because she took me by the hand one time,
when a couple of men drove down the hill in a white van said there was a phone box filled,
with money 'round the corner, and I would've gone along,
but she took me by the hand to the house in the middle of the hill.

And our Mother knew the words to a lot of different songs,
and we'd always sing the harmonies when we'd sing along,
she had cool cool hands when the fever hit,
and then the noises that the trains made sounded like people in my head,
and the stories that the ceiling told,
through the pictures in the grains on the pinewood boards,
and I could stay outside till the sky went red,
and I could cool my head on the concrete steps.

And you can never really see the top from the bottom.
I don't pay enough attention to the good things when I've got them.
I don't pay enough attention to the good things when I've got them.
I don't pay enough attention to the good things when I've got them.
I don't pay enough attention to the good things when I've got them.
I don't pay enough attention to the good things when I've got them.
No.