Thursday, August 03, 2006

The AFL and the Sydney Swans acknowledge that Swans supporters don't know the rules. They have created a website 'Barry Hall's Hall' to help supporters learn about aussie rules. I actually like the site, however I'm not sure it will be a success as it does assume Swans supporters are smart enough to use a computer. ;)

http://www.barryhallhall.com.au

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Button, Clip, Button, Belt, Zip

Today at work I went to the bathroom at about 11:30am. I attempted to lower my zipper but alas, it was already down. In my job I work with many people, and I began to do a mental count of how many people had potentially seen my budgie smugglers. About 70 I reckon, but luckily I was wearing a long-ish jumper which would have hidden my forgetfulness.

Anyway I blame my low flying zipper on my trousers! I wear business style trousers to work and they are too much effort to put on. Firstly there is a button that does up on the inside, then you have to do up the clip above the fly, then you have to do up another button on the outside of the pants, then I fasten my belt buckle and then only after doing ALL that is it time to do up the fly. Well for me it's just a little too much work to keep my pants up!!!! After I complete 4 tasks in doing up my pants I think subconsciously I believe there must not be anything else left to do!! So the fly just goes undone. Yes this has happened more than once.

Button, Clip, Button, Belt, Zip!!! Should it really be that much work to put on pants???

By the way, if my belt is keeping my pants up, and the loops on my pants keep the belt up, what exactly is keeping my pants up!!! Something is defying gravity down there! It's just not my zipper.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006



AFL Conspiracy
Question
What do you see in the picture above?
(A) Barry Hall a former boxer executing a well timed right duke to the ribs
(B) Mark Macguire attempting to injure Barry Hall by thrusting his ribs into Hall's hand
(C) Nothing at all

If you answered A, well done. You are in the vast majority.

If you answered B, you probably support the Swans. You probably also think that any time a swans player makes a tackle it is automatically "holding the ball", any time a swans player gets tackled it is in the back, and you spend most of the game yelling "Kick it to Goodsey!" interspersed with "Kick it to Barry!".

If you answered C, congratulations! You are qualified to sit on the AFL tribunal!

Actually, I can't believe the AFL tribunal is that bad. They did actually find Hall guilty in the first place. I believe that for the appeal they were instructed to let Barry Hall off to help Sydney Swans win the premiership. After all, they knew like everyone else did that the Swans could not have won without him.

Well the Swans play the Saints again on Saturday night. What will MacGuire say to Barry? It has been revealed this week that the Swans and Hall were "disappointed" that the Saints and Macguire didn't do more to help Hall escape the charges!! What the???!!! This annoys me more than anything? If Barry Hall wants to play dirty why should everyone else have to accommodate him?

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

We love sport in Australia, we really do. We watch and play just about every type of sport. In winter we have Rugby Union, Rugby League and Australian Rules. Any of these can be referred to as Football or Footy. Usually Rugby Union is referred to as Rugby, but that still leaves Rugby League and Aussie Rules as being Football. What annoys the tripe out of me is the current push for SOCCER to be called Football. I don't give a stuff what the rest of the world calls it! But we just can't call it Football here in Australia ok, so get over it! Maybe if you have a heavy European accent and you make a lot of spaghetti sauce I would forgive you for calling it Foota-ball, but that is the only exception. It's soccer people, it always has been.

Monday, April 03, 2006

It isn't anything new to say that Yao Ming (Chinese basketballer who plays in the NBA) is a big mofo. He is 7'5 and 136kg. However it has recently been revealed that Yao Ming was specifically bred to play basketball. Both of his parents played for China’s National Basketball Teams. His father Yao Zhi Yuan stands 6'7 and his mother Fang Feng Di stands 6'3. At first glance, you may think this was a romantic basketball love match, formed while slam dunking each other. But alas, the Chinese goverment over zealous for sporting glory on the world stage to show their communist might "strongly encouraged" Yao Mings parents to bang one out for the nation and create a basketball wonder kid. So Yao Ming was born. From the age of nine Yao Ming was trained to play hoops. He hated it, but eventually came around. He was always going to be an international star.


It got me thinking, surely there are plenty of Aussie sports stars who should be given the green light to get under the covers and produce a little aussie legend. Perhaps Dawn Fraser and Ian Thorpe should have a little water baby? I know neither of them likes the opposite sex, but Dawn kinda looks like a man anyway.


Some other possibilties:
Richie Benaud + Liesel Jones
Peter Sterling + Liz Ellis
Cathy Freeman + Dennis Lillee

Who would be your ultimate Aussie sporting match-up?