Friday, October 21, 2005
Yet another American Pie movie returned to Australian screens this week. But it will not be in the theatres. Unlike the three earlier pieces of Pie, the fourth slice in the series, American Pie Presents Band Camp, will go straight to DVD. You might have thought the original American Pie was bad. If you did, you probably thought American Pie 2 was even worse, not to mention American Pie 3! But just take a moment to consider how bad American Pie 4 is if it's going straight to DVD!! How many ways can one kid have sex with an apple pie?
Thursday, October 20, 2005
The following is an extract from Saddam Husseins first day in court.
Judge: Mr Saddam, we ask you to write down your identity, your name, occupation and address and then we will allow you to talk. Now it is time to write down your identity.
Saddam: I was not about to say much.
Judge: We want your identity, your name, then we will listen to what you have. We are writing down the identities at this time. We will hear you when we need to listen to you.
Saddam: First of all, who are you and what are you?
Judge: The Iraqi Criminal Court.
Saddam: All of you are judges?
Judge: We don't have time to get into details. You can write down what you like.
Saddam: I have been here in this military building since 2:30, and then from nine I have been wearing this suit. They have asked me to take it off and then put it on again many times.
Judge: Who are you? What is your identity? Why don't you take a seat and let the others say their names and we will get back to you.
Saddam: You know me. You are an Iraqi and you know who I am. And you know I don't get tired.
Judge: These are formalities and we need to hear it from you.
Saddam: They have prevented me from getting a pen and a paper because paper, it seems, is frightening these days. I don't hold any grudges against any of you. But upholding what is right and respecting the great Iraqi people who chose me, I won't answer to this court, with all due respect to the individuals involved in it, and I reserve my constitutional rights as the president of Iraq. You know me.
Judge: These are the procedures. A judge cannot rely on personal knowledge.
I found this hilarious! Is it wrong to start liking Saddam? I always knew Saddam was a feel my weight kinda guy but he took it to a new level. I look forward to Saddam arguing that a rock-off should be used to decide which judges should stay or go.
Judge: Mr Saddam, we ask you to write down your identity, your name, occupation and address and then we will allow you to talk. Now it is time to write down your identity.
Saddam: I was not about to say much.
Judge: We want your identity, your name, then we will listen to what you have. We are writing down the identities at this time. We will hear you when we need to listen to you.
Saddam: First of all, who are you and what are you?
Judge: The Iraqi Criminal Court.
Saddam: All of you are judges?
Judge: We don't have time to get into details. You can write down what you like.
Saddam: I have been here in this military building since 2:30, and then from nine I have been wearing this suit. They have asked me to take it off and then put it on again many times.
Judge: Who are you? What is your identity? Why don't you take a seat and let the others say their names and we will get back to you.
Saddam: You know me. You are an Iraqi and you know who I am. And you know I don't get tired.
Judge: These are formalities and we need to hear it from you.
Saddam: They have prevented me from getting a pen and a paper because paper, it seems, is frightening these days. I don't hold any grudges against any of you. But upholding what is right and respecting the great Iraqi people who chose me, I won't answer to this court, with all due respect to the individuals involved in it, and I reserve my constitutional rights as the president of Iraq. You know me.
Judge: These are the procedures. A judge cannot rely on personal knowledge.
I found this hilarious! Is it wrong to start liking Saddam? I always knew Saddam was a feel my weight kinda guy but he took it to a new level. I look forward to Saddam arguing that a rock-off should be used to decide which judges should stay or go.
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